Cleansing the toxins from our life

LET GO

Garbage in. Garbage out.

This little axiom was all the rage when computers first became common place in the workplace and schools.

Our minds are like computers too. Just think about all the information we take in during a day. We sift through most of it, kind of like how we sift through our mail. We toss the junk, lay aside the bills and other things we have to deal with. But then there is the personal stuff we hold in our hands and ponder what we’ll do with it.

This personal “correspondence” is like the people we allow into our lives.

Of course, we can’t shun all the negative people in the world, but we don’t have to open the door and invite them in for an extended stay. Face it. Some people are TOXIC to our emotional well being. I’m not saying they are bad people. I’m just saying some people aren’t good for us. They’re like food we have to avoid.

Take peanut butter for example. Overall, it’s a pretty cool, nutritious food. But for some folks, it’s deadly.

Writers, you have to take care of your emotional health. You don’t just work with your hands; you work with your hearts and your minds. When your heart is troubled and your mind is cluttered, you have too much garbage going in. And then garbage comes out.

Sometimes, however, the garbage piles up and blocks the writer from allowing anything out.

Then it’s time for a cleansing.

My goal in my life is to be a very transparent person. Very few adults know the real me. I don’t trust them. I smile and keep to myself.

I let down my guard around most of my students because many of them feel the way I do. They are just as scared of failing or getting hurt as I am. I understand their fear, so I try to create the most relaxed, non-stressful environment as possible. I want them to let down their guard, so I let down mine.

Some people are quite the opposite of toxic. They’re like good medicine. I want to be good medicine.

How do you know the difference, whether a person is poison or good medicine? Look at the effect that person has on you.

  • Toxic people will rob you of your energy, your passion, your goals, your dreams, your joy, your happiness, your confidence, your love. They keep you from becoming the person you want to be.
  • People who are the good medicine in your life will fuel your flame, feed your passion, help you reach your goals, believe in your dreams, make you happy, boost your confidence, help you fight your fears, and fill you with love and compassion. Good medicine makes you stronger and helps you become the person you were meant to be.

Writers, painters, poets, and musicians, God gave you your talent. Polish it until it shines. Just keep in mind how difficult maintenance can be if your defenses are down.

God is love and wants us to love all people. But we have to learn how to love ourselves before we can love others.

Too often, when we don’t know how to love ourselves, we look to others for the love we need, and sometimes the “others” are the toxic people we should avoid.

To make matters worse, when we don’t know how to be confident in who we are, we SEEK approval from other people, even GOOD people, and, sadly, because we take more than we can give, we become the TOXIC people others must avoid.

TODAY’S CHALLENGE
Find good medicine and allow it to make you a better person. Be the good medicine, and be the positive difference in somebody else’s life.

WORDS OF WISDOM
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~ Marcel Proust

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

MUSIC NOTES
“So often time it happens, we all live our life in chains, and we never even know we have the key.”  ~The Eagles, “Already Gone”

LOOK AND SEE CYBER SERENDIPITEE
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/151476-only-once-in-your-life-i-truly-believe-you-find

FINAL THOUGHT

people

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21 thoughts on “Cleansing the toxins from our life

  1. I tried being transparent once, but people saw right through me. Bahahaha 😀

    I think there is an inner joy that can only be fully appreciated by those who have suffered hardship, loss, maybe even tragedy, illness, or abuse. I believe those type of “life changing events” are what mold people into those characters of “toxic” or “good medicine”.

    Toxic people usually harbor resentment and have the idea that the world is a big bad place that has done them wrong. Having been wronged, they need the sympathy, devotion, and ear of everyone. Every little thing in life (even burnt toast or rain) is an excuse to have a pity party. Basically, they have not confronted their past and are seeking diversion.

    Good Medicine people often have similar life stories, but they have made peace with the injustices of life. God has a plan far beyond what our feeble minds can conceive. Much like the jigsaw puzzles I love, one day that final piece will be placed. The resulting masterpiece shall be spectacular!

    I think as I type and often have new/different ideas as I proceed… I guess the best metaphor i can think of is this — Good medicine people realize that they are but the canvas for God’s showcase, and they are willing to be the instrument for either finger painting or Picaso. Toxic People, well, they are the turpentine. Ya might need a little from time to time, but mostly it just smells bad and erases all your hard work. 😉

    Garbage in, garbage out….. I gotta quit with the ramen noodles and licorice.

    • You are very wise. I guess we have all been toxic. What is really cool, though, is how the right person can bring the flaws to our attention without destroying us. They help us get better. The hardest thing about teaching, other than being told how to teach my students by people who have never met my students– i.e. state education department, is dealing with students who are caustic. I just don’t like being around negativity. I can’t walk away from them. It wears on my attitude. Fortunately, I’ve had a lot of good medicine in my classes this year.

    • I’ve been thinking about this topic for a long time. I guess I have to accept that not everyone will like me no matter what I do. And I shouldn’t worry about whether or not people will like me. Rather than try to change what I cannot, I need to walk away. Maybe the person and I will meet again later in life. But there is no point in making myself miserable because I can’t control someone else. That’s for reading!

  2. I think you spoke directly to me. Every word you said was true about my life. Everyday at lunch i sit with a bunch of busy body hens that talk about everybody and their mother. I think its also true when it comes to saying that you need to live each day like its your last because you never know when a dear friend or yourself can exit this world forever knowing the last thing you said about or towards them was cruel (weather by accident or on purpose). Being kind is the best medicine you can give. Once you say words, you can’t take them back no matter how much you regret stating them. You never know when you’ll leave this old world, then what will be your footprint? A novel that makes people laugh, a song that makes people sing, a painting that will leave generations guessing what you were thinking when you created it, or remembering the hateful things that only fools say.

    • Kindness is good medicine. You have a very warm heart and a depth of wisdom for such a young lady. I really admire you for that. I bet you will leave footprints of kindness behind. I think God has his fingerprints on you.

  3. I believe that what you said – that toxic people keep us from becoming the people we want to be – is true. To an extent. But there are so many ways that that isn’t true at all.
    You mentioned that they “rob you of your energy, your passion, your goals, your dreams, your joy, your happiness, your confidence, your love”…I understand what you’re trying to say, and some of those, such as energy and confidence, can be robbed from us in a way. But passion? Goals? Dreams? These aren’t things people can just take. Our passion, if it is passion, and not a makeshift or temporary will, can’t truly be “robbed” from us. Our goals and dreams – those are fortified in times of stress and doubt. They are substantial and persistent.
    Toxic people inhibit, but it is up to us whether they fail or succeed.
    They do test our passion, our goals, and even our sanity sometimes, but they don’t crawl inside and steal our soul. Unless you let them.

    • You are so RIGHT! And there lies my problem. I am learning how to have thick skin. Because I’m not so strong, I have to walk away. On the other hand, now that I’m trying to get published, I also need to learn how to develop thick skin so that those things that hurt can’t crawl inside.

  4. I think you spoke directly to me. Every word you said was true about my life. Everyday at lunch I sit with a bunch of busy body hens that talk about everybody and their mother. I think its also true when it comes to saying that you need to live each day like its your last because you never know when a dear friend or yourself can exit this world forever knowing the last thing you said about or towards them was cruel (weather by accident or on purpose). Being kind is the best medicine you can give. Once you say words, you can’t take them back no matter how much you regret saying them. You never know when you’ll leave this old world, then what will be your footprint? A novel that makes people laugh, a song that makes people sing, a painting that will leave generations guessing what you were thinking when you created it, or remembering the hateful things that only fools say.

    • I have learned the hard way that you can’t take back words. I am so sad that I have hurt people in the past. It’s true. We can say so many wonderful things and utter one cruel word. THAT is the word that is remembered.

  5. This blog has inspired great contemplation among my thoughts. I wonder, “Am I toxic?” “Am I good medicine?” I’d like to think, as I’m sure everyone would, that I’m “good medicine.” However, the possibility that I’ve harmed others, mentally, physically or emotionally is very pervading. We may all come off as harmful at times, unintentionally or sometimes even intentionally. One challenge this post seems to imply is the challenge of asking yourself the question of whether you’re poison or medicine and inspiring the self determination for striving to be that good medicine, rejecting the poison. Don’t let garbage in and garbage won’t come out. What better way to greet this challenge with open arms?

    • You are definitely good medicine. When you give another person your attention, even for a moment, you show that person that he or she has something important to say.

  6. Their is so much truth in this blog Mrs. Lockhart.. PREACH IT GIRL 🙂 haha, really though.. I agree with everything you said. People can easily fool you into thinking they are a positive friend in your life, but really they are just toxic. You just have to realize who are your true friends, who aren’t. I sometimes catch myself to be “toxic” or judgemental for people that I don’t know to well;however, I’ve gotten better during my high school years to give everyone a chance and just treat them the way I want to be treated. Your defintion of a toxic friend and a true friend are exactly on point. I’ve had “friends” that do nothing but tear me down and bring negative arguments into my life. NO ONE HAS TIME FOR THAT. Thank you for remidning to be the positive friend in someone’s life, not the toxins!

  7. WOW! I love your blogs Mrs. Lockhart! You have such a good grip on reality. This blog reminded me to smile and stay away from those people who give you negative emotions. Sometimes it is hard to find those friends who really want the best for you. Lots of people, even those who you think are your “best friends” cannot wait to see you fail. Finding at the friends you thought wanted to see you prosper actually got a thrill out of seeing you fail is hard. But you just have to pick yourself up, show the “haters” kindness, and leave them behind. I can’t wait to read your blogs next year when I go off to college; they always seem to have a way of relating to the things happening in my life. Thank you for being such an inspirational teacher! –Lots of Love

    • I am going to miss you so much when you go to college. You have been a wonderful inspiration because you are truly a ray of sunshine. Many times the “haters” are the ones who desperately need the sunshine. (You provide that wherever you go.) I want to provide sunshine too. Sometimes the haters can become very important people in our lives. However, there is a time to move on and to close the emotional door to the people who take more than they give. We can’t let people drain our joy. Other people need it–our families, friend, ourselves.

  8. I understand this completely and honestly this has been on my mind for months now but sometimes I find it difficult to tell the medicines from the toxins. But reading this has made me feel a little better about situations I’m in. Thank you. 🙂

    • Every time I read this, I think, “Oh, no. I don’t want people to shun other people.” That’s not it. It’s just that sometimes we have to focus on the positive. You are just a “young in.” You have a long way to go. You have such a sweet heart. Just remember you are the MEDICINE. 🙂 If you feel as though someone is bringing you down, slip away. Be kind, but keep walking down the path to joy.

  9. Toxicity says a lot about the void in the toxic person’s life…Good Medicine carries equal weight of importance. We will always have those “sandpaper” people in our lives and if we live long enough will encounter times we cannot slip away quietly or walk away completely. Sometimes God has to gently walk between us in order to bridge the gap for the time they are purposed in our life. As iron sharpens iron…the refiners fire also creates! Great post T…you are very good medicine for everyone…your personal fires are exactly what make you a great writer…great writers always write from their experience…what they know…what has made them or molded them into the person they are…polished and shining from the refiners fire and/or the sandpaper people you have encountered along the way!

  10. Very true. People have voids. But God has a purpose. I’ve learned that I am sandpaper to some people, and I need to move out of the way so that the right person can get to the person in need. Life is so messy. 🙂 The sandpaper people, though painful at the time, have given me a smoother edge. But, boy, oh boy, am I thankful for good medicine. 🙂

  11. “You don’t just work with your hands; you work with your hearts and your minds.”

    Hmmm… I haven’t considered that before. More motivation to be wary of toxicity.

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