Super Bored Sunday

Today I am a social outcast. It’s Super Bowl Sunday, and I don’t care.

I’ve tried to like football, or at least tolerate it. But I can’t lie. It’s just not me. I don’t follow college sports. I don’t follow professional sports—except for baseball, America’s favorite pastime. I cheer on my kids when they play. But me? I just don’t get it. And I don’t want to get it.

For a while I tried to pretend that I didn’t understand football. Why are all those men chasing each other just to squat down on that funny-shaped brown ball? I figured if I asked enough stupid questions I’d be banned from viewing.

Feigning ignorance worked for a while. But then I realized I didn’t get it. When I grew up, I liked playing backyard football. I begged my dad to show me how to throw spirals. I can do it—but I still don’t have the right technique. I can catch. But it wasn’t until the women teachers participated in a Powder Puff football game that I realized I really was ignorant.

I don’t like being ignorant.

I tried out for the team, and the coach put me in as a receiver. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized that only certain players were allowed to catch the ball. I always figured whoever was open caught the pass. I knew nothing about linemen and skilled players, lining down and blocking.

It didn’t take long for the Powder Puff coach to realize I was a threat—to our team. I could catch, yes. But he used me to send in the plays. Whenever I popped in the huddle, I became so befuddled that I couldn’t remember the sequence of numbers or the special terms. 48 blitz to the right something or another. Ah, just do whatever.

He benched me.

Part of my job is to teach my journalism students how to write about sports. I learned an invaluable lesson. If you don’t know anything about the sport, don’t cover it. It was then I made it my personal goal to learn football. If I were going to teach my writers to cover sports, I had to learn how to do it myself.

So I found myself down on the sidelines with my camera and reporter’s notepad. I learned about stunting and off tackle. I could spot motion in the backfield, illegal blocking, horse collaring, face masking, and other penalties.

But I never could quite get the hang of shooting action shots on the field. My zoom always froze. I should have used a monopod. My hands were too shaky. Interviews with the coaches weren’t a big deal, but I really had to work at learning how to talk football.

I still don’t fully get it. I guess my heart’s just not into it. Oh, I understand the passion players possess. Kenny Chesney’s song “The Boys of Fall” paints a beautiful picture in a literary sort of way.

I thrive on competition. I played softball and wore my Hale’s Angels travel team uniform with pride. I was offered a scholarship to play at a junior college but went with the full-ride academic scholarship I had from MTSU.

When it came down to softball, I would do anything just to be on the field. I’ve played with fevers. I’ve dodged missiles whizzing past my face. I’ve been hit. I’ve been threatened by Amazon women on rival teams. I broke my own teammate’s nose when I was trying to make an out at home. I was dead on. I hurled the ball right to the catcher, and it caught her right between the eyes. I don’t know how she didn’t see it coming.

I get the blood, the sweat, the tears that come with the game. I just don’t get football.

My favorite part of Super Bowl Sunday is the half-time show, and this year it’s Madonna. No offense, Madonna, but I don’t get you either. I want music, not theatrics.

I can’t even enjoy the Super Bowl parties. I’m a dedicated Weight Watcher, and I don’t want to blow my points on chips and dip. Chocolate just doesn’t mean that much to me anymore. I’d rather be healthy. I’d rather not have to pry on my new jeans.

So Super Bowl Sunday, I don’t want to rain on your parade, but I am going to slip off and watch a chick flick while the men in my family watch the last game of the season. I think the Giants and the Patriots are playing. Somebody give me a fist bump. I didn’t even have to Google it to find out.

I don’t follow either team, but if I had to choose, I’d say go Pats. You’re as close as I can get to Boston right now. And for me, Boston means one thing—baseball.

Let’s get this game over with and start singing “Sweet Caroline.”

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22 thoughts on “Super Bored Sunday

  1. Wow teresa, good job explaining a very real problem with any game night. But superbowl sunday is the worse! Im with you, nothing like softball/baseball, but its great when you have your kids in them! Thanks for the smile on my face! 🙂

  2. It’s almost baseball season. At least you have something to look forward to in the next few months. I have to wait until September for college football. I don’t like pro football though either. It irritates me.

    • You know what I really find interesting about pro football? The player’s hair. The long hair. I don’t know why. It just fascinates me. They didn’t used to wear their hair that way. It’s neither good nor bad–it’s just different. Oh well. Whatever.

  3. Hubby and I totally forgot it was the Super Bowl! We spent the weekend turning our guest/junk room into a bedroom for 2 little boys, and cleaning and organizing. Well, actually, our families did a lot of it, while we fielded calls and emails and texts and questions. We are gloriously, wonderfully exhausted. We had about 5 days to do what the average couple does in 9 months. What I am trying to say, is Wednesday, we will finally bring home the children we will foster-adopt! We heard about them Thursday, learned about and met them Friday, took them to eat and play tonight, and they will move in for good Wednesday. We didn’t have to wait “years,” we didn’t have at least a month of gradual visits. It did take 2 1/2 years to get approved, but we were approved for less than a month when we got the call. God has answered our prayers in ways we couldn’t have imagined!
    And softball was my favorite! Not a huge football fan, but I do enjoy a high school game or two once a year, more to socialize than watch. 😉

      • We have two brothers, ages 4 and 2. We were supposed to pick them up Wednesday, but after some drama with their foster parent’s mom, the county picked them up Tuesday, and the poor things spent the day in their office, while we scrambled… They are doing well so far, sleeping through the night, eating okay, etc. Some tantrums from the older one, but only when he doesn’t get his way! 😉 A month or two ago, they were removed from what sounds like a very chaotic home, and placed with their daycare worker. It seems that structure, love, and choices are in great demand. A simple, “No, you may not have a third glass of milk. You may choose water with ice, or water without ice,” stops screaming, kicking, and growling. Little brother is almost TOO quiet, obedient, pleasing… He is starting to open up, but I think the little guy is just scared out of his mind! Rightfully so, all things considered.
        We are slowly learning about their past 2 placements, gradually asking questions as they become more comfortable. Their social worker is coming out today, for the meeting that would normally happen before they moved in… We should get complete medical info and hopefully more details, such as why older one keeps saying “Mama got out of the hospital. She is better, and we are going back to her,” when that is not the case.
        We could definitely use you thoughts and prayers!

      • I am definitely keeping you, your husband, and the boys in my prayers. I’m sure the little guys are both afraid. Change is scary. We all deal with fear in our own ways, even little kids. Please keep me updated. I am so happy of you and so happy there are people like you who open your hearts to people, especially little guys, who need you.

  4. 180 degrees apart. I have spent my entire life going to a football game or getting ready to go to a football game.I was well on in age when I discovered that there were billions of people who could care less and surprisingly it didn’t bother me. Good article

    • You would not be you if you didn’t follow your passion. I am not a football fan, but you inspire me Friday nights when our Raiders play. They are my kids, and it means a lot to me that someone in our community backs them. That’s passion. I guess I feel the same way about music as you do football, The only difference is people probably roll their eyes when they hear me talk music again, but when they hear you speak, they smile with pride.

  5. I’m not a big fan of football either. During other Superbowls, I watched for the commercials and the hot wings! This year though, now that my beloved New York Mets have broken my heart for the last time, was a chance for a New York team to be no 1 and I savored every second. I loved the halftime show and I do really like Madonna.

  6. I agree with everything in this post! I got in a debate with one of my friends about football. Haha! But the Patriots lost, which was a sad day… :/ And I’m proud of you for knowing the teams without google! 😀

    • Thanks! I don’t want to offend all the football fans out there. But we all have our own interests. I’m sure everyone doesn’t get excited about the MLA research documentation as I do. 🙂 It’s great to hear from you!

      • I think I know of one other person that might like MLA documentation. And I was going to see you over Christmas break at school before I left, but my plans didn’t work out… As most things planned by me don’t. Haha! It’s a gift. 🙂

  7. Football is my favorite sport to watch. I follow college more than the NFL. I’ve gradually learned a little more about rules and penalties from watching with Daniel. I just want to see one really good stiff arm during the game, then I’m a happy camper. I also like it when one of the really big guys gets to run the football. : )

    • I have tried and tried and tried to like football. My dad liked football too. But I guess I just can’t sit still that long. I do like baseball. There’s an art to baseball. I loved playing softball. I love competition, maybe a little too much. 🙂 (Except for the time a very large mean girl from Shelbyville tried to beat me up when she came up to bat during a tournament. I didn’t strike her out, but I accepted that I was going to die. LOL. I lived. Fortunately, my teammates backed me up.) I guess I just gravitate to the music./art/literature life now. 🙂

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