Skinny flowers

I could never work as a gossip columnist or a hard news reporter. I’m too sensitive. I don’t like offending anyone, intentionally or not. I’m also hesitant about dropping names, especially when I know all the interviews I’ve ever had, all the celebrities I’ve ever met, are gifts from God, not rewards. I didn’t earn them.

During the last year I have taken my relationship with God to a different level. I don’t think we can ever reach an ultimate level of intimacy with our Creator. The more we seek, the more He reveals about Himself and about ourselves. Honesty is the key. We can’t lie to God. He knows what we think, how we feel whether we confess it or not. Confession frees us.

I have had a rough year. I have retreated. But I’ve learned when we’ve had more than our minds can take in, we need a quiet place to reflect and to be still. That’s where I’ve been. And in my quiet place, God has not forsaken me. He has sent me flowers, skinny flowers.

“Skinny flowers” is actually a phrase from a song by Three Crosses, my all-time contemporary Christian band. And yes, God came through on that one too and gave me an opportunity to write a story about this bluesy rock band for a national music magazine.

I never dreamed I’d talk to the members, but God is good like that, giving me the desires of my heart. One of my favorite songs is about a band member’s daughter who picks skinny flowers for her daddy, little bouquets of love.

I liked the album so much that I bought one for one of my best friends who had a little girl of her own. Rhonda played the “skinny flowers” song almost every time they were in the car, and little Emily, who is now a freshman in college, could sing every word.

The irony is God recently picked a very special skinny flower for me, one that makes me say, “Wow. Who would have though God was planning this all along?”  Of course, we never know what God has in mind, how He can make anything work for our good.

The little girl in that song, April, is now a beautiful young lady and recording artist with a voice like an angel, and my son Josh just shot  a music video for her yesterday. I never would have dreamed it. What a sweet gift!

I’ve seen parts of the video. It’s beautiful. I’m not at liberty to post anything else, but I can tell you I’ve heard her singing the song at least a hundred times this weekend via video, and every time I have had to stop what I’m doing to listen. The song is a cover tune, but I refuse to listen to the original. April makes me believe the song, makes me live the song.

Who would have thought that God would use the little girl who picked skinny flowers to help heal my grief?

The truth is during my retreat into the wilderness, God has not abandoned me. He has sent me several flowers, all in the form of special people who have changed my life and who have helped me heal.

I don’t know what’s next in life. Everything is changing—and some of these changes are good, exciting. I can’t help but think of the Martin Luther King, Jr. quote: “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

I don’t know what will happen next. I do know how I feel. I suppose I’ll just keep climbing in faith. They say never look down when you’re moving to higher places.

Despite my flaws and fears, despite life’s circumstances, I haven’t abandoned God. He hasn’t abandoned me, and the skinny flowers he sends are constant reminders He has a plan. He makes things work out. He knows our hearts. He knows the truth.

So whatever it is that God has me doing, I want to be a skinny flower (quite literally, I’ll admit. I’ve been living the Weight Watchers life, and it’s working!) But more importantly I want to be a flower in someone’s bouquet, a reminder of God’s love. I don’t want to be a rose. Roses have thorns.

I think I’d like to be a rare wild flower like the ones that grow on the May Prairie. We had a few of them to pop up on our land when we lived in Asbury, and they dazzled me with their beauty. I never knew their real names. They were like nothing I’d ever seen.

I think I’m like a wild flower because I’m not typical. I think God places me in the bouquets of people who do don’t conventional very well.

I want my life to have purpose, to have meaning. I don’t care about material riches. I just want my life to be rich, so I invest in people, and so far, thanks to the lovely bouquets God has sent me during these dark days, I’d say I’m blessed beyond measure.

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7 thoughts on “Skinny flowers

  1. Before I finished reading, I was determined to tell you that you have been that “skinny flower” to others just as others have been to you….A single wild flower is sometimes sweeter than a whole bouquet of roses.

  2. Teresa, I love to read what you write. Thank you for doing it. Thank you for being a skinny flower / wildflower. God gives us blessings in many ways. Today, one of mine was reading Serendipity. Kristy

    • Thank YOU for taking time to respond. It really encourages me when someone leaves a comment. I’m like a lot of writers. I think, “Oh, no. Should I have written that? Do people think I’m weird or self centered?” I’m not very thick skinned. Maybe I should be. But then again I thiink because I’m not I understand how others feel and try to be considerate. So YOU have made my day just by reading. Thank you again.

  3. How exciting that Josh got to shoot that music video!

    I’m not familiar with Three Crosses. I’ll have to check out their music.

    Thank you for all the ways you invest in people!

    • Thank you for being an encourager to me. yes, I highly recommend Three Crosses and April Lockhart. If you have time, go to her YouTube channel and check out her videos. I think you will enjoy her music. I’m a proud mom, so I have to share a little bit. I just can’t hold back. 🙂

  4. Your prayers are being answered. Your blog is proof of how sharing your heart with others is such a ‘pretty flower.’ I did check out the Three Crosses. I can’t find the song “Skinny Flower” though. The album is on Spotify but not the song. Drawing close to God is so comforting and you know He’ll never leave you. In my life right now, I want to be “Held” (Natalie Grant) On another note… Weight Watchers… a wonderful program, but all it made me think of was pointage… I was always hungry. I’ve started cutting down on intake also and eating healthier… walking is up to two miles a day.. but as you get older, weight loss is slllllloooowwww

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